The shape of the pear

The Inconvenient Nonsense

2008-03-12T21:07:00.001Z

It must be something about the whiney voice of B-list celebs wittering on about the plight of the polar bear that just sets me off. I know they're are only playing up to their "cute" TV appearances, and indeed they and their cubs are cute on television or at a distance, but up close and in your face, they are bloody lethal.

Of course it's all about "Global Warming" and "Mans Impact On The Environment" the topics dear to the heart of anyone who needs to look "concerned". We should all be worried whenever the press reports that temperatures have not been this warm since the end of the last ice age some 12000 years ago.

I note that no one gave a rats arse about the furry elephants that we lost back then. Now they were cute.

Which of course might carry some weight were it not for one small, constantly glossed over fact that we are still coming out of this ice age, so of course it's going to get warmer, with or without our help.

Testing Testing, is this thing on

2007-11-08T20:05:00.001Z

Just trying out the new Windows Live Writer, hoping it'll do more of the work for me :)

I'll write again with something a little more sane later

My Life With an Addict

2007-08-15T21:20:00.000Z

Recently my evenings have taken a disturbing turn, filled with tortured screams of anguish, followed by short lived yelps of pleasure and delight. Cries of help echo around the house, and all normal activity has long been abandoned.

I am dealing with an addict, suffering the rage, frustration and stress until her next hit, and is constantly on the search to get to the "next level".

Thankfully it's all free, and I am talking about computer game addiction. My darling wife has found bloons, and more bloons, which by its insidious technique of constant rewards, has hooked another poor victim mercilessly.

Dont just take my word for it

2007-07-02T17:12:00.000Z

Even the trained professionals think it is all a bit naff

Too Stupid to be Terrorised

2007-06-30T16:16:00.000Z

Not me of course, but this latest round of muppetry. Never mind that two of their car bombs in london were found and defused before any problems, and this new lot did no real damage except to get themselves arrested.

fecking idiots

Big Brother is Watching

2007-05-30T21:49:00.000Z

And frankly with some of the contestants I can see why doors have "Push" on them, why the pool has a "Wet" sign, and the dinner table has "Eat". There's no helping some folk.

Still should be entertaining :)

Ok Maybe Games Are Bad For You

2007-05-29T20:50:00.000Z

There I've said it. Not that I've changed my stance, but those that believe otherwise and indeed try to make the laws against "violent" games have made them bad for a lot of needy people

Meanwhile people like this who would appear to tick a lot of boxes in the "potential psycho" category is actually a hero.

Meanwhile there are those that have seen it all before

Content Warning

2007-04-10T20:02:00.000Z

Please note that this blog may contain opinions

but more often than not, contains occasional ramblings

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

2007-03-17T19:42:00.000Z

I do

85% of the UKs electrical distribution network and vast areas of Australia is monitored by the software that I have a hand in writing. And last week I was the one providing on call support.

No pressure then.

Games in the News

2007-02-20T21:27:00.000Z

And not for the usual reasons either... Aparently we are training up to be healers

Also in news that will get most gamers blood racing. Girls (if you can find them) that play games have sex more often.

Who knew

Off to get the wife into Viva Pinata

The clock is Ticking

2006-09-28T08:15:00.000Z

How long before this is blamed on computer games.

Sometimes it seems like the only cause.

I'm Getting Business Cards Made

2006-08-22T16:15:00.000Z

I get an email.

"Our clients crashed 3 times can you take a look and fix it".

Did you get an error logs/messages? Did you get any core dumps or Dr Watsons? Anything useful at all?

Come on guys this is basic stuff, but no you guys just had to email:

Colin Cassidy - Psychic Debugger

The Female of the Species...

2006-08-21T20:26:00.000Z

According to some people games like this, this, or this are murder simulators.

Odd however that playing Madden does not actually make you a better American football player then.

However I wonder if anyone thought that The Sims in the hands of teenage girls would have been just as deadly

Only In Japan

2006-05-15T19:16:00.000Z

Would you be able to buy cans of air

Without a hint of irony

2006-05-05T20:27:00.000Z

Where I work is rolling out a new software purchase process, and in the email it says

"Utilizing best practices from" ... "and enhacing them" ...

Are you thinking what I'm thinking. If it's best practices how on earth can we possibly be improving them?

My Xbox 360

2006-05-05T20:23:00.000Z

has its own blog

damn thing posts more than I do as well

Poke in the Eye of Darwin

2006-03-10T20:35:00.000Z

This is nothing more than an attempt to get a religious idea taught as science. Nothing more, nothing less.

The US, surprisingly enough, have already had the forsight to remove it from their scientific curriculum given that they have a long standing seperation of religion from state.

The theory of evolution is quite simply a theory, which in scientific terms is held quite highly. Intelligent Design (creationism to you and me) barely ranks as a scientific hypothesis, and should have nothing to do with science

Oddly however you do not get the same religious arguments when it comes to the "Theory of gravity" (also just a theory). Not many Christians are suggesting that the earth sucks.

Not your Typical Hallmark Holiday

2006-02-23T22:07:00.000Z

March 20th

I Protest

2006-02-22T19:30:00.000Z

Since the Iraqi invasion, occupation, liberation call it what you will, the iraqi "rebels" have been bombing other iraqis left right and centre, and for the most part they've done nothing. Now they've bombed a shrine and now all of a sudden they're off to do something about it.

In other news, Pro Testers. Brilliant idea where do I sign up. Ironically that most ALF muppets (sorry members) have been vaccinated with vaccines, tested on, you guessed it, animals.

If you are going to be against animal testing at least have the decency and commitment not to use any of the products.

In Case You Ever Wondered

2006-01-25T23:25:00.000Z

If the Xbox Live thing down the right hand side would ever do anything... Today it does :)

Today I got myself a nice new shiny xbox 360 :)

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Get one yourself and join myself and other sad muppets with nothing better to do than play "murder simulators" as some Daily Mail readersmight think. But in reality these games do not teach me how to murder any better than playing a golf game will improve my swing.

I mean really who uses a mouse to kill people nowadays anyway, especially now that most of them are wireless you can`t even strangle anyone with it.

If you want something to blame may I suggest taking a look at the parents who buy little 12 year old billy that game that he keeps going on about, the one with those ugly creatures with their odd looking guns. But still it'll keep billy happy quiet, and more importantly out of the parents way So they can get on and watch the latest Soap/US hit TV show.

Billy, meanwhile, is building pipe bombs.

Slow down

2006-01-24T21:03:00.000Z

In the past we have had many government funded campaigns to reduce your speed whilst driving, each one has focused on some aspect of speeding that may tempt BMW drivers to slow down to just above the speed limit.

We have the foolspeed campaign highlighting the risks of not being able to slow down when someone leaps out in front of your car. BMW drivers care not a jot, except for having to turn on their wipers a little

More recently I noticed an attack on the wallet. If you slow down you will save fuel (and hence cash). Again this is doomed to failure If you are able to afford a BMW, and indeed foolish enough to part with the cash to own you, you are unconcerned where you money goes.

Now I have thought of a campaign that will get to the mindset of the BMW driver, and more importantly the mindset of the average driver, especially as this can be directed at said BMW drivers.

Slow down, it'll piss of the driver of the cars behind you.

See clearly this is a winner as nothing excites us more that annoying anyone we can, and in particular that git in his Beemer who seems hell bent on driving his car into your boot.

So there you have it a real reason to slow down

A Celebration of Britishness

2006-01-14T21:27:00.000Z

apparently we aren`t British enough. We should embrace our flag and celebrate what it means to be British (Never mind the fact that we are already "Great")

So we are going down the path of celebrating something that makes us different from the rest of the world, something that marks us out as special? Something that divides us a species on a small round planet hurtling through the vast void of space, where you cannot see a border, flags or people. I don`t see us hurriedly suggesting that we should celebrating Earthling Day.

To start with I guess we have to understand what exactly does it mean to be British? Does our cricket team have our uncompromising support every tour? Do we celebrate a major historical victory?

ultimately what makes most Brits "British" is that on this fair, green and pleasant land.

our parents fucked.

The Spirit of Christmas

2005-12-19T22:28:00.000Z

Eloquently put.

Nice Car, Shame About the Weather

2005-11-27T21:57:00.000Z

It was with a sense of amusement that I watched the weather affect our country the other day. Despite a weeks worth of warnings we were hit with snow and the country grinded, inevitably to a halt.

One story in particular amused me. Not for happened or it's outcome, but the unsaid story. One school was so snowed in that there was no way for the parents to drive up and collect their children.

Now as an observer of the school run, I've noticed that a large number of children are driven to school in SUVs, Jeeps, Hummers etc. Mostly in the mistaken belief that you are safer in a car the size, and with the fuel economy, of a tank.

In reality I am actually safer driving around in my little Citroen Saxo.

Now these same said tanks, for all their "safety", "sports utilityness" and "4 wheel driveness" couldn`t make it through the snow to get to the school that they daily dropped their children off at. Money well spent.

When my little one starts the school run I'll be buying Snow Cat.

Without a Trace of Hypocracy

2005-11-11T20:16:00.000Z

Aparently this is a bad thing

Where as this is something that we should be allowing.

Now of course you'll hear the arguments that we need 90 days detention because there is so much information stored and encrypted on computers nowadays. However maybe the government and the police forgot about this little law.

Which, in a nutshell, states that if you have encrypted data of any kind, you must disclose the password/key. And indeed if you fail to hand over the key you are implicitly guilty.

So I'll ask the question, if we are obliged by law to hand over the key to the encrypted information when asked, why the hell should we be detaining suspects for 90 days?